Why Band T-Shirts Are Sacred

(I don’t think this is the first time I’ve found myself going on about this, but it’s relevant to the blog, so I’m doing it again.)

Normally, I don’t really care what people wear. I’m allowed to think you’re dressed like an idiot (looking at you, people who wear onesies in public), but you are allowed to go around dressed like an idiot without my criticism, because it’s opinion, not fact (although I’d say when it comes to onesies, that’s debatable. You’re grown adults wearing babygros.) and in general, it’s not doing harm. However, there are two things where I will make an objection. The first is those t-shirts, worn primarily men, showing some page 3-style spread of a girl all oiled up with just a pair of socks on and looking surprised that somehow her humongous tits have just burst out and all she has to protect her modesty are her hands, because it’s promoting misogyny and the objectification of women. 

The second is people wearing band t-shirts as a fashion statement.

This is primarily a problem with mainstream and hipster fashion – and let me get this straight first, this is aimed at the people who don’t listen to the bands, so if you do happen to listen to the bands on your t-shirts, this isn’t aimed at you – where they put on a Guns’n’Roses or a Billy Talent t-shirt because it looks a bit badass, and makes them look all cool and rock’n’roll. If you want that kind of look, buy a top with a skull on it or something, that works just as well.

The reason why I object to this is because within the subculture that I seem to be involved in – let’s just call it rock and metal for now because if you look into the genres I listen to it sprouts up all these weird names like 'post-hardcore' and stuff – we really feel attached to our bands. I’m not saying this doesn’t happen with other genres of music, but we really really love our bands. Take the My Chemical Romance bandom, for example – we could probably write a highly accurate biography of each individual band member just from information we can remember off the tops of our heads, and this is with a band that has been known to have secret babies (Frank Iero managed to hide his wife’s second pregnancy from a bandom that managed to find his old myspace alias). We have a very deep connection with these bands and their music because, quite often you’ll find that they’ve gotten us through some very tough times. My two favourite bands helped save my life, and that’s something you hear a lot within this subculture. I could go on just about that, but then there’s enough there for a whole other post that I will probably do at some point.

But yes, we really feel attached to these bands. We worship them. We listen to their music every day, we hunt through HMV (or not, as the case may be . . .) and any other record/CD shop we can find to get hold of their discography in physical format and get hold of every bonus track and live version of their songs that it is possible to get hold of. We will draw fan art for hours and hours (I do need to show you all the many, many pictures I have drawn for MCR) and we will learn instruments purely so we can play their songs. So when you go and wear the t-shirt of a band like that, and you don’t even listen to them, it kind of feels like you’re trivialising them, like you’re missing the most important part about the band, which is their music and how they help people, just because they have an awesome logo.

(yeah, we've got some pretty cool band t-shirts)

Another reason is that they’re like our mating calls. We wear band t-shirts in public to find new friends and such, because it’s an instant conversation starter; “Oh, that’s an awesome Pierce The Veil top you’ve got there,” “Thanks, I got it at their September 2012 gig. Did you go?” “Ah, yes I did! It was awesome!” etc. For the average socially awkward teenager on the prowl (or the lurk-in-the-corner, if we’re going for accuracy here), having a fall-back like that’s good. So it’s really disconcerting for people when they see someone with a Black Sabbath top on, and they try to start a conversation and realise the person has no idea who Black Sabbath are, beyond that they’re mentioned occasionally in connection with Ozzy Osbourne (fun fact: I used to think he owned the Usbourne publishing company for several years before I noticed the spelling difference).

We really do take this stuff seriously, you know. I got a Slipknot hoodie for Christmas and I’m still nervous about wearing it in public in case I don’t know enough about the band to justify wearing it – not to look cool, but because I’d feel like I was offending people if I went round wearing it for fun.

Sure, you may be thinking, but is any of this true? You can’t know that people don’t listen to the bands. Yes I can. I know. You can tell by the way people act towards visible fans (no I’m not going on about all that ‘real fans’ rubbish, you’re a fan if you listen to the band and like them). I was in Pulp a while back, and these girls came in and were like ‘oh my god where are the Slipknot t-shirts’ while stood right in front of the Slipknot t-shirts. Usually, if you have listened to a band you will be able to spot their logo when it is splashed across a load of t-shirts in bright red, right? Then, not moments later this group of people came in and one of them said ‘OH GOD WHERE ARE THE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE T SHIRTS HAHAHA IM SO EMO’ and gave me (who was wearing an MCR t-shirt at the time) a really dirty look. Just no. No no no.

Of course, there is a way to get round this. Listen to the band. Just listen to the released singles if you aren’t a massive, massive fan, but at least give them a try – you never know, you might find some new music you like. If you don’t like them, then don’t wear the t-shirt.

I think, to argue both points, there is an element of elitism involved in this attitude. I myself just think that, as long as you actually listen to the band on a somewhat regular basis and you can name a couple of songs, you're a fan and you can wear the t-shirt. I'm against them being used solely as a fashion statement and to look a bit 'alternative' and interesting. However, there are some people that do expect you to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of every single band you show support to in public, and bring out this 'real fan' thing where they say you can't be a real fan because you discovered them through this album, but they've been there since waaaayyyy back. That's just unfair, because you discover the band when you discover them. What about Green Day fans? Green Day's been around longer than some of their fans have, but it doesn't mean they like the band less, it means they've had to play a bit of catch-up.

There's also a bit of sexism involved too, because quite often when people are criticised for wearing a band t-shirt when they 'probably don't even listen', it's a girl, when obsession with image and fashion transcends sex and gender. Actually, if you're going into stereotypes, then there's even more proof that boys do it as well - boys are generally 'supposed' to end up doing really stupid things to get attention from the opposite - or same - sex, and yet it's still girls that are told off for wearing the t-shirts for attention.

So there you go. If you're one of the people that wears band t-shirts purely for the fashion, I'm not saying never do it, I'm saying maybe give it a bit of thought next time, because this stuff really matters to some people.